What’s a Girl to do?

You know, you think it would be easy to make decisions about certain things, but it’s not. People say I’m indecisive. I totally am, but I consider every possible out come before making that final choice because I need to justify my decision, I need to make sure it’s the right one. Now, some people might think that’s crazy, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. But I want people to know that I don’t do that with every little decision I make.  I don’t contemplate for hours about what I’m going to wear or eat that day.  I’m talking more of the life changing decisions.

Some of you might think, “What does a twenty year old have to make life decisions about?” Well, there’s a lot of things that have been on my mind. For instance,internships, jobs, money, relationships, school work, family, and the list goes on and on. For the first time I feel the pressure of life.

The reality of becoming an adult, without the help from my parents, becoming completely independent, is a scary thought.  The choices I make now, in every aspect of my life, are going to determine my future.  Am I going to make the right choices? Am I going to end up with the life I’ve always wanted? Who knows, maybe or maybe not.

What always throws me off is that I tend to listen to other people’s opinions.  I base my decision off of my friends’ and family’s input.  And that is not a good thing, at all. I’ve learn that I cannot do that to myself any longer. I need to learn how to not rely on what other people think to sooth my indecisive mind.  I do appreciate my the advice I receive, it’s always nice to see it from a different perspective however, I need to do what is right for me and not worry about what other people think or say after I make my decision.

I’ve come to realize I cannot please everyone.  That’s one of biggest lessons I’ve learn thus far, in my short lived life.  But where do I draw the line with doing the right thing for myself knowing that someone might get hurt in the process?  Do I really want that or I am trying to spare someone’s feelings?  Those questions are the things that I need to let go of.  I need to start putting my needs first before anyone else’s.

But that’s hard for me to do. I am the type of person who wants everyone to be happy and get along.  I avoid stepping on other people’s toes and I put other people’s happiness in front of my own. Is that wrong of me? Some would say yes, other may say no.  But in reality when is enough, enough?

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